15 Strange Conversations in a Bookstore

This is actually a funny little post from the Christian Science Monitor's Book page. The newspaper often does humorous little lists.This was put together by a bookstore clerk, writing down the odd things she hears in the store. I was hoping this would lead to another humorous Twitter feed, but as far as I can tell this is it. (Original post by Molly Driscoll)

Customer: "We've found some really old books in the attic. Would you be interested in buying them?"

Bookseller: "That depends, what sort of books are they?"

Customer: "Well, one of them is a copy of 'Gone with the Wind,' printed in the 1890s."

Bookseller: "Well, you know, 'Gone with the Wind' was written in the 1930s."

Customer: "Well, yeah, but this is a really old copy."

"So where do all these books come from? Do you get them from Amazon?"

(Phone conversation)

Bookseller: "Hello?"

Customer: "Are you okay?... I heard that something terrible had happened."

Bookseller: "As far as I'm aware, we're all fine."

Customer: "I got home from work to find a note from my daughter saying that there'd been a series of unfortunate events in the bookstore, and that I should call you about it."

Bookseller: "Oh! No. You ordered Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events.' You can come and pick it up whenever you're free."

Customer: "...Oh! Well, thank goodness for that."

(Customer 1's cell phone rings)

Customer 2: "Will you turn that off? There are laws about cell phones in bookstores, you know!"

Customer: "Have you read every single book in here?"

Bookseller: "No, I can't say I have."

Customer: "Well, you're not very good at your job, are you?"

(Customer is eating peanuts and throwing the shells on the bookstore floor)

Bookseller: "Sir, we don't allow food in the bookstore."

Customer: "This isn't food! It's a snack!" 

"What books could I buy to make guests look at my bookshelf and think, 'Wow, that guy's intelligent'?"

Customer: "Do you have 'Dr. Who and the Secrets of the Hidden Planet of Time'?"

Bookseller: "I'm not familiar with that one. Hang on and I'll check our system for you... I'm afraid I can't find it in our database or a reference to it online. Are you sure you've got the right title?"

Customer: "No, not at all. I don't know that it actually exists."

Bookseller: "What do you mean?"

Customer: "Oh, I was just driving to work yesterday and I thought up the title and I thought, 'Now that sounds like the kind of book I'd like to read,' you know?"

"If my daughter wants to buy books from the teenage section, do you need to see some ID? It was her thirteenth birthday this weekend. I can show you pictures of the cake. You can count the candles."

"I'm just going to run to the store to do the weekly food shopping. I'm just going to leave my sons here, is that okay? They're three and five. They're no trouble."

"Do you have 'Fiddler on a Hot Tin Roof'?" 

Customer: "I don't know why she wants it, but my wife asked for a copy of 'The Dinosaur Cookbook.'"

Bookseller: "'The Dinah Shore Cookbook'?"

Customer: "That must be it. I wondered what she was up to."

"I'm looking for some books on my kid's summer reading list. Do you have 'Tequila Mockingbird'?"

"Do you have any Robin Hood stories where he doesn't steal from the rich? My husband's called Robin and I'd like to buy him a copy for his birthday, but he's a banker, so..." 

"Did Charles Dickens ever write anything fun?"